the Wedding Planner

UK Wedding News

02/11/2011

New Roles For Mother Of Bride And Groom

Things have changed for the mothers of prospective brides and grooms. A decade ago, weddings were planned primarily by the bride and her mother, with the groom and his family playing supporting roles. Now, as more brides and grooms plan and pay for their own weddings without parental help, and with more couples inviting both sets of parents to participate fully, mums are confused about their roles.

"Mums are caught between old-world expectations and 21st-century realities, and those old-world expectations lead to resentment," says Sharon Naylor, author of The Mother of the Bride Book and Mother of the Groom.

"When a mother is surprised to find that she’ll play a smaller role, or no role, or – even worse – share a planning role with 'his mother,' that can be a recipe for disaster. Both books provide new role definitions and updated mum etiquette. When mums get the answers they need, the frustration levels go down, and clashes are prevented."

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Naylor’s must-read books also caution against making assumptions from the start, as well as the best ways to be of help in every area of the wedding plans.

"What’s most surprising to today’s mother and step-mother is the intensity involved,"says Naylor.

"They often get stunned by the heightened emotions -- and the heightened expenses – so what they thought was going to be a fun process becomes a highly-charged atmosphere where they feel they can’t win."

The author feels it’s all about establishing a foundation of communication, trust, and reliability, and then maintaining them in the middle of all those hundreds of wedding planning details.

According to Naylor, the idea is to take the fear and frustration out of the mothers’ new roles in wedding planning, and return them to the excitement of preparing for both a joyous wedding and a future shared with a new son- or daughter-in-law, plus a new extended family.

So what’s the number one tip for mothers of the bride and groom? Listen more than you speak….both to the bride and the groom. They’re the center of the day, so their wishes come before anything else.

(LB)

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"Things have changed for the mothers of prospective brides and grooms."